I’m making some intentional changes in my life in order to move forward toward a more productive adulthood. Writing about it is admittedly overkill, but I’ve always been the type of person to make dramatic flourishes of these moments in order to better solidify them. Please bear with me:
I’ve had this Tumblr for a long time. Before this Tumblr I think I had another Tumblr. One of my romances subcommunicated all important conversations via Tumblr. That was awful, but mostly I’ve had a fun time. Hooray for Tumblr!
At its best, this site can help people find their unique voice/style/brand.
At its worst, this site encouraged me to take regrettably nude photos, satisfy my creative urge by regurgitating the work of others, and value trends over substance.
For example, yesterday a poorly lit photo of someone pouring melted sherbet into a tennis shoe garnered at least 600 notes. Obviously I don’t have to reblog something like that, but I’ve realized that I don’t even want to participate in a ‘community’ where that’s being rewarded with attention.
Mostly I just don’t see the payoff. I’ve seen some incredible prints, but I’ll never buy them. I’ve seen some cool clothes that I can’t afford, and won’t attempt to replicate. I’ve seen some GIFs before any of my IRL friends, who will inevitably send them to me when they land on Reddit, and then again when they land on Buzzfeed, and then eventually again when the Facebook Mommies find out about them. I don’t need to be first anymore. It’s not worth the hours of time I’ve spent scrolling. I’m happy to have been influenced by the self-appointed Coolest Kids on the Net, but I must not be one of you. I’m too anxious about potentially failing to spend any more time screaming into the void, hoping anyone powerful hears me or cares about my shrine of an ideal self.
Maybe if I take some better photos of my hairy butt more gays will follow me in hopes that I take great pictures of my hairy cock and I’ll be a penniless amateur porn star.
Maybe if I tailor my critical writing more activists will follow me and I will become the Voice of the Indifferent, instigating a furious assembly of trackpads across the globe.
Maybe if I had enough emotional discipline I could treat posts like the silly comics they are instead of some sort of personality totem.
If you’re an artist using the site as a promotional device, you’re the man behind the curtain. Just don’t cater to their finicky grouptaste.
If letting strangers read your journal helps you feel real, you’re at the right place in the right moment of history.
If Tumblr is your favorite porn hub, happy jacking.
But if you’re like me and just scrolling away to avoid doing the things that need to be done… RUN!
Run away with me.
This place is evil.
Actually… wait wait wait
OK, this place isn’t evil. Your presence here doesn’t indicate anything other than presence. It’s not my place to assume any of you are as lazy or unhappy as I am.
I’m leaving Tumblr for the same reason I left Instagram and Pinterest: these sites allow me to emphatically define myself as a Creative without making anything, an Intellectual without critically thinking, and Social without engaging the real humans sitting right in front of my phone.
Come find me IRL.
I want to live in my body, in this moment and not give a fuck if the Internet knew about it.
when in doubt, it’s definitely a date